Monday, May 07, 2007

You Have Been Reading

(Weeks 1 and 2 were undocumented as Ralph was mostly hiding under a wardrobe.)
Week 3: "would I like a hot beverage"
Week 4: "foam foam yib yib yib"
Week 5: "CliffBen GrimmSteele the RoboThing"
Week 6: "A isn't B"
Week 7: "I swear I was getting an erection"
Week 8: "the red elongated trotsky"
Week 9:"goodbye forever"
Week 10:"I know what happened on Mount Olympus"
Week 11: "big dog, big dog, bow wow wow, we'll crush a bit of evil, now now now"
Week 12: "headquarters are my clothes"
Week 13a: "YOU BASTARDS"
Week 13: "presumably a metaphor"
Week 14: "Emily Dickinson is a world-famous ho"
Week 15a: "suck it... in hell"
Week 15: "the sucky dance, is your chance, to do the suck"
Week 16: "cold and alone on Misery Street"
Week 17: "Doctor Robert Lynchmob"
Week 18: "me and Sheriff John Bunnell"
Week 19: "What do I care about your unsightly nose hair? I've just seen a universe die"
Week 20: "coprophagia in my rooms"
Week 21: "stylin' safari suit"
Week 22: "just like the capitalist world"
Week 23: "get thee behind me, changeling of Satan"
Week 24: "Fredo had to have an accident"
Week 25: "nobody will mourn your johnson"
Week 25a: "Happy Halloween, Phantom Stranger"
Week 26: "John Henry Ass"
Week 27: "the Purple Stretchboy"
Week 28: "I took his clothes away"

Week 29: "get thee behind me, fantastic super energies"
Week 30: "the psychotically idle rich"
Week 31: "barking out the morse code for J-U-N-K"
Week 32: "Superman, or if we can't get him, Vartox"
Week 33: "dear reader, you bastard"
Week 34: "all because you thought Christmas was rubbish"
Week 35: "get back in the sky, you scum"
Week 36: "it's only a space feeling"
Week 37: "maggot-infested scum"
Week 38: "this will be my last communication"
Week 39: "Time Magazine"
Week 40: "there lies an obese bitch"
Week 41: "that's merely the most, fellows"
Week 42: "when he coughs it sounds like the words 'evil plans'"
Week 43: "we're two different people"
Week 44: "more like the Egyptian Scotty Morris"
Week 45: "mild hgnitivolek sauce"
Week 46: "the waiter of vengeance"
Week 47: "Linkin Biscuit"
Week 48: "no funny bit in this episode"
Week 49: "Morgan Freeman Narratodroid"
Week 50: "shocked beyond reason"
Week 51: "Willis War One"
Week 52: "And then a giant alien butterfly ate him."

And now I finally get to break character:

Thanks to everybody who read through this little experiment, even at the end when the lead character was dead in a stone tower and I was forced to rely on the significantly less funny supporting cast.

Thanks especially to anyone who improved the blog by commenting in character (Jean Loring, who started the trend, Green Arrow, Booster/Skeets, Kon-El, Wonder Girl - to name but a few) and didn't try to turn it into their own private MMORPG (Swamp Thing).

And thanks to the writers of 52 for having Ralph push that guy out of his wheelchair which was hilarious.

Shameless Plugging Dept: You can find me at Re:Retro, the retro games blog, in the pages of 2000AD and the Judge Dredd Megazine, in bookstores everywhere come June (August for non-UK folk) and at the International Comic Expo in Bristol this coming weekend. Also, Dr Willis will be available for a chat on Monday evening in the Union server on City Of Villains, if you like that sort of thing.

Well, that was fun.

Let's do it all again soon, eh?

Ladies and Gentlemen, you have been reading...


THE DIARY OF RALPH DIBNY